Why I can’t have a girlfriend…

According to market forces, love is in the air and with each passing day being referred to as chocolate day, rose day, teddy day, propose day and shit-happened-day, etc. etc.

I am reminded by the market time and again of how not having a girlfriend is a crime.

So, I am using this place to analyze the various reasons of why I can’t have a girlfriend…

• I am not good looking (I negotiated with my mirror by showing him photos of Katrina Kaif to prevent it from cracking at my first sight)
• I am a shallow person with pea sized brain (so culturally elite girls are out of my league)
• According to my friends, I’m not human (hisssssssssss and snakes rejected me for lack of specific spherical object)
• I am honest & being honest to girls initially doesn’t really help
• Rukma has also pointed out lack of ‘chivalry’ which again went above my pea sized intellect ( joshi has put it more aptly ‘hum to nange aaye the yaha, humara kuch nahi ho sakta’)
• I also lack tashan because my surname is not mittal or saxena or chaturvedi
• I’m not great on talking on cellphones (girls were somehow born with it!)
• I am not super rich, I can’t carry shopping bags and walk obediently behind the feline creatures
• I am like the village people (which gaon? I won’t tell)
• I receive sms only from my service operator to pay the due bills (nobody ever msgd good morning or good night )

The list is long yet incomplete, but I do have the skill sets to make it to FOSLA (frustrated one sided lovers association).

I am so frustrated at times that I have also started to call some of the guys in my wing with girl names like silky su, saumya, anu, sumitra na etc. etc.

I don’t know how many of you out there are sharing the same pain but hang in there bro!

To make things worse, I’m trapped in an IIM where a good girl is like rain in desert, god again teased us by sending 28 girl like creatures in my batch to just rub salt on the market licked wounds.

So, I rest my case. I know I won’t manage to get a girlfriend because I’m a good guy after all. And good guys are meant to be kept only for marriage purposes; they can’t be showed off in malls. They are not ‘macho’ or culturally elite to be glorified everywhere.

I’ll simply finish my few days left here and leave peacefully.

Because, I’m a good guy after all!!

Take care.

PS – Happy Valentine’s Day!