Words from a Tinku Jiya

You have lost a lot of weight
You look weak
Is everything fine with you?
These lines have become a routine statement for me. All that I offer in reply is a smile. But, after having not cared to look in the mirror at myself properly for a long time, it never occurred to me that I was getting weaker by the day. Well that’s a different story now as I’m loaded with almonds, cashews and what not to regain the lost weight (Chummi reading this…? :P). For confused readers kindly visit http://thelostpages.in – a website of no real use but an example of how free web space can be misused.
I have been irritated with my health issue related questions for a while and its time they get a reply.
I want you to think (girls are excused on this request due to lack of certain necessary components like brain etc.) on what defines poor health and weakness???
How to look beyond the orthodox norms to understand the real meaning of strength and weakness is the real deal in my opinion. Consider this example, however repetitive but it is a good one, Mahatma Gandhi won us the Independence and he wasn’t a man weighing 500 pounds and a world heavyweight championship to scare ‘some people’ (dedicated to rukmee) out of India.
The point is a man is strong or weak only by his mentality. If a person feels he can take on the world, he will do it regardless of his condition. So what is the point of tagging a person as weak or strong? Just let them be…
Before you begin to like the above statement, let me bring out my classification of people.
They are as follows –
- Good people
- Indecisive people
That’s it! These two cover the whole universe for me because I believe that no person is bad, they just don’t know what is right and wrong so they end up doing the mistakes and get categorized as bad in the eyes of others. I hope you get my point coz I’m not explaining it again!
Everyone has goodness inside in varying proportions mixed up with indecisiveness that creates a unique individual who will laugh with friends, feel low when things go wrong and in a nutshell, add colors to this life we live.
But, what really hurts me is that sometimes our indecisiveness can destroy someone else’s life and many of us stay ignorant of this fact until life teaches us a lesson which is too late a realization to sort things. So, my request to all those who unfortunately are reading this blahblah( I can’t classify my own bullshit!) is that they stay sure of whatever they try to achieve in this thing known as life, because your actions can have far reaching consequences.
When you are sure of doing things, whatever you do becomes your strength and you never feel doubtful about achieving it. So, again the concept of strength or weakness holds no relevance. Just stand up to your actions and smile, this world would certainly seem a merrier place to live in after that. A legend once on an early morning had shared this thought with me – “smile from your heart and you will have your life with you”. He is unfortunately not able to follow his own advice but I realized what he wanted to tell me and I’m trying… hope you also try it. I sincerely wish to smile from my heart one day! Amen!
Keep on searching for what keeps you happy and
Take care.

warning: the title can be confusing but Jiya to Tinku hi hota hai na!(NTS)

32000ft of routine madness

What can be moronic to the masses is cool for someone. Try the chopper ride from Shillong to Guwahati, you will understand my feelings
Last few hours have been something else for me. Took the chopper ride which can be best described as fuckin awesome and now sitting in not on time on flight jet, I’m more eager to look forward to what comes next. The grueling iIM life is coming to its closure and nothing has changed in me. So much for why MBA? Still no answers..
So, as I head back home to meet my family, there is nothing much to do but to scribble as random thoughts as possible. Just to eat your already bored and frustrated mind. Even this blog post is not OTOF!
Meanwhile, ever imagined an air hostess as a maid who comes to collect waste everyday, I tried that and it was fun to think like that at 30,000ft or 32 .. screw that falling from either height is certain death.
Air travel these days is like bus travel, almost anyone and everyone is using it (including cheapos like me) and the fun part is …………?! There is no fun.. it’s a pain yaar. (I hate delays)
What more? Let me land and I’ll tell you when I get my baggage after half an hour of struggle.
Till then thank you for choosing to read my blog.. now suffer from the idiocracy and have a great day!
Take care…

PS – this post is a result of 3 hour flight delay with majority of time spent in letching at not so great air hostesses. The author is not responsible for any mental damage caused by this blog since he/she(see I’m confused on my orientation too!) wrote this post in an absolutely mentally challenged state or for the lack of better words the author was at his normal best at that time. Thank you!

Silence for the lack of better words

For the last few weeks I have longed to write, sometimes you wish you could just scribble your way out of “things”. Well it didn’t happen on part of my laziness and now it’s high time I blogged. Here goes…
I will begin with the things that happened in the past few weeks-
• My birthday came
• Got red assed for good three days and three nights (countless goodies and gifts too)
• I went for an event (XLRI was fun, wish I could spend more time there)
• My friend's neck was fucked, so were our ears (8 minute deep relaxation my ass!)
• He went through first surgery of his life (he’s fine now and god bless him always)
• Roll 4,10,15,23,59,..56,66,……48,64 caught everybody’s attention
• Few people fell to allergies, cold and other seasonal problems while dieting is a dream for FEW
• Phad Phadi Saxena interacted with a vehicle on an unusual trip outside the campus
• Maybe a few more open houses occurred here and there
• And yes Gold cup came to a titillating finish…
There is definitely more on the cards and it never really stops however by the end of it all, you still wonder where you have reached in life.
Well it would be stupid to say that I have got an answer to why MBA because it is just an extension of the pursuit of the impossible dreamTM, what matters is the feeling that I’ve had through all this time. I am shifting towards a mode where all I have to offer is silence.

There are phases in your life when something triggers a systematic destruction of the self. I wouldn’t say it is happening to me or to somebody, its just a thought being expressed but always remember when that time comes, there are people around who can see it.. talk to them and get out of it.
Take care and god bless…

for me, silence is better than a lot of things said and done...

Penning down an expression

Have you ever felt this way? Just answer in your head as you read it – you get up in the morning or trying to sleep after a fucked up day and you don’t have the energy to stand up, so you stare at the roof pointlessly for a while… after a while a thought runs in your head and you feel that someone is pinching your heart, you sink slowly and roll on one side of the bed for peace but the thought won’t leave. You will close your eyes and it will get even worse and you will begin talking to yourself and ultimately all the bad things will come to your head and you will get up suddenly to look around but you are all alone. You look out of the window, you see the stars and a distant light and you come back to some sense. You lay down again and look at the wall again. This time the mind is trying to console you but this feeling would stay with you…

I leave this post at this juncture because somethings are beyond words... take care

Pain - 4 letters of life

there is no pain, you are receding... 
a distant ship smoke on the horizon... - comfortably numb - Pink Floyd. love this song


Ah! The magical four letters that define a person; you would argue it can be love too… but then for some even that leads to pain. We all experience it, sometimes physically, sometimes mentally and imagine the amount of difference it brings to your persona. Remember the first time you were given an injection, all your childhood you are afraid of it and for every mischief the visit to the doctor uncle is enough to calm you down.  Your impressions for the good and bad are defined by pain. Why do most people prefer medicines to surgery, because it is less painful (at least in perception). There are a lot of instances to prove my point but I guess the issue is clear now.

How many of you have been through the sudden death of your near and dear ones? How many of you have had break-ups? How many of you have been in one sided affairs? Well I guess there are many out there nodding within and feeling the pinch as they recall these moments (sorry to mention these instances fellows), but the aftershocks simply shape your life. Not to mention the masochist and sadist behavior that is propelled by few smarter ones. Ultimately, it is the pain that rules and defines the moment.

Some try to run away from/forget pain by smoking, drinking, drugs and what not. Some just give up and some fight (respect for the fighters). The reaction depends on the state of mind you are in; the worst part is pain affects your mindset so you already are not thinking straight (ironic isn’t it?).

Personally, I have been through painful moments and I bet life is not fair. Yes, it is unfair. Not all of us suffer with the same disease; and this is what makes you different. This is what makes you ‘special’. I have met a lot of people who have been through shit literally. These people have a remarkable character, they have the guts to do things that majority can’t. Needless to say, they learnt it the hard way and then there were those who just failed to recover. The risk never ends (risk is again a four lettered rascal) in life (now this is crazy, life too!).

But then, pain is necessary too. You don’t cherish your happiness until you realize what sadness is. The lessons that pain teaches you are needless to say painful but something that you will never forget in life. They get etched hard and deep in your soul. I won’t rant on pain anymore; just leave you with this fact to ponder. Imagine that before a child is born, the mother undergoes enormous pain. But, when the newborn is in the hands of the mother and she looks at the baby, does she regret the pain? Pain creates this world!!

At the end of it all, there is something good to cherish and meaningful behind pain and “it’s all in the brain” philosophy. Ok that’s it, may God keep away the pain to a minimal in your life coz as I said it before, life is unfair and you may be lucky enough to learn lessons without pain. Best of Luck!!

Take care and hope the post was a painful read… J

Maybe...

 Thoughts are running wild in my head these days and this one seemed worth sharing...

How many times have this word struck your mind? Every day it comes out in one or the other way. (even rana used it to talk about Bengaluru's weather) In my opinion, is it is a dangerous word because it is not         a) definitive, b) open to interpretations and c) refers to uncertainty.

• Maybe I’ll get selected for that job
• Maybe we can be great friends someday
• Maybe I’m wrong, Maybe I’m right
• Maybe he still loves/hates me
• Maybe Osama is in Pakistan
• Maybe someday things will change...

Maybe is a mix of hopes and fears, our assumptions construct it and many precious moments of this life get lost in searching for answers to it. On that note, Hopes and fears by Keane is a great listen, fyi Keane is one of those rare guitar less bands.

Maybe is the middle path suggested by Lord Buddha, it is neutrality and for me it is nothing but another means to show your diplomacy. See, even I’m struggling to classify it as good or bad.

My take away from this thought is simple, try to give reasons and definite answers to your near and dear ones, Maybe spoils their expectations and gives them a false hope in situations when there is no hope in reality. A Yes or No works wonders at times.

A life without Maybe represents clarity of thoughts and nothing like it.

Ending this chotu sa blog now, Maybe I am able to communicate my thought clearly to you.  J Take care...

ps- love u kd, tere liye gaali khaana aur khilaana.. sab manzoor yaar...

Stuck between past, present and future

The pursuit of impossible dream ^TM has lasted for a month in my head and if I still don’t give it the due credit. Then balls to me  (inside joke for god wing: mere tau ka fe paar ho gaya :P)

A few words to explain the concept, all of us live a life chasing things which are never meant to be, it can be

• -          Elusive girlfriend  {aww.. dream girl :( }
• -          Big money and a job with no tension
• -          Peace of mind
• -          Delicious food in mess
• -          Latest gadget in my pocket
• -          Or a husband’s day without argument (N/A)

Things can be simpler ones, or very tough to comprehend but they are there for everyone in varying proportions.

The biggest crime that you can commit is to slog your present for that future which will never materialize. Shahrukh said it in KHNH, Nityananda(:P) said it in a satsang(not the one that came on India TV!) and I’m writing it here. See one of them is a legend in real life (me of course)..!!

Getting back to the present, live it yaar.. put that smile on your friend and save some time for him, for yourself. Live the present before its past and thou shalt have a happy future…

I would not disagree that my life is also a part of The pursuit of impossible dream ^TM, but since I realized this thingy; life has been less of a puzzle. The issue is to find your means to express the feeling, it can be the lost pages, or shouting at people in open houses or just sending anonymous mails to junta.

And for those who are scared of dreaming…  Dream on coz not all but some dreams will obviously come true… and when they do; it’ll be worth it.

I would end this chotu sa blog with this line - take lite… for further details and queries, refer to the red herring prospectus(I meant Madhya ungli tu)…

On a serious note, do try to think on what I’ve said coz it meant a lot to me, hope it helps u too… God bless n take care :)

(Word count 376) – after shocks of Markguru :P


fyi - song of the month goes to dreams and illusions by poets of the fall.
and Munni badbaam hui is awarded the song of the year award... phad phad phad....